Change is inevitable. It is demonstrated all around us through the changing of the seasons, the turned pages on our calendars, the lines on our faces and the growth of our children. Sometimes I seek change and feel a great need to experience something new and exciting like travelling or watching winter melt away and spring come to life. The change that I am finding difficult as of late is the growth of my children. Zoe is now 10 and I cannot believe that my little girl that I once breastfed and held in my arms for hours is now almost as tall as me with her own ideas about life and how things are. I am completely resisting this growing up business. I want my baby back!
I came upon this quote from the book "The New People Making" by Virginia Satir:
"Nurturing parents realize change is inevitable: children change quickly from one stage to another, nurturing adults never stop growing and changing, and the world around us never stands still. They accept change as part of being alive and try to use it creatively to make their families still more nurturing."
This made me realize that I must grow up myself and finish the
mourning of my baby girl and get with the times. She is growing up and I
must change along with her and keep nurturing her in the ways that she now needs. Over March break Zoe attended Horse Camp at Davalon Farms in Richmond. It was beautiful to see her blossom throughout the week. She fell in love with her horse named Kit and I saw a glimpse of that magical little girl as her grin spread across her face. It was a joy for me to pick her up at the end of the day and hear her stories and feel the excitement of a new found passion. In this way I am embracing this age.
Yes, I am still alive, thank goodness because I still have a lifetime to live. Things are great here on my little place here on this planet. My return from adventure Botswana has been uneventful save for the fact that I am resisting the business of life. It takes removing myself for 3 weeks to realize how busy I really am. I am re-evaluating, taking stock and assessing my strategy plan to get things done stress free.
This evening I have been having a blast editing my photos from my trip and it is great reliving it again. Looking over at my 1500 pics, yes I am serious, I am reminded of how wonderful it was to be out in the wilderness of Africa.
You might wonder how Zoe and Owen have reacted to my return after a 3 week absence. Well Owen came through the door noticed me and beamed me the biggest smile, wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his nose into my belly. Then I looked up to greet Zoe expecting her to be as happy as I but alas I got a turn of the head that said I am angry. It is amazing what we convey without using a single word. I am trying to avoid falling into the mother guilt thing but most admit that at times it does get the better of me.
Well that was 2 weeks ago and we have made headway since then. I must admit though that I am having to work on being the mother of a preteen. It is a hole different ball game and the learning curb is a little steep. She is growing so fast and it is hard for me to catch up.
It is now pushing towards midnight and I should put this little head down to sleep as tomorrow is a whole new day with new adventures. A few more before I let you go. Can you believe that we have skipped spring and sprung right into summer. My bike and I are friends again and it is soooo sweet.
Now I bring you closer to the story at hand which transpired a couple of hours ago. We arrived in Mashatu which is a game reserve and the savanah landscape is just beautiful. We are camped alongside the Limpopo river which separates South Africa from Botswana.
On our biking safair I did fall many times and my mangled legs are proof of my mishaps into sand, branches and rocks. Geoff coached us on our mountain biking skills. I started getting more confident by doing bunny hops over branches and zooming down steep hills, pedalling fast through sand and climbing up inclines. I did have some moments of hesitation when some of these hills seemed just a little to steep but I make it through. Jay did fall into a thicket of bushes and we have in on video as proof.
Now for the meat of the story. While riding through the bush one needs to be aware of one`s surroundings. Moosa was a fantastic guide and noticed flickering tails, leaves rustling and movements between branches way before we ever noticed anything. It was a good thing that we had him along as I am sure something would have had us for dinner otherwise. This leads to our spotting of a heard of elephants through a thicket of trees. They were heading towards a small stream. We decided to ride onto the opposite side of the stream to hopefully see them play in the water, drink and do what elephants do. So we rode to the opposite side of the stream waiting for their arrival. They were hiding behind some bushes but we could hear them splashing as they crossed the water hole. Soon a bull`s massive presence came into view not but a few yards from where we stood. He assessed us with his beady little eye and returned behind the bushes and then reappeared on the other side. We took photos but I started to feel uneasy. I was a little too close to the massive beast. My heart rate increased and I could hear it jumping in my chest, baboom, baboom. Next thing you know our guide Moosa gives the sign of the hand that means `go`. We`d agitated our friend who no longer felt like a friend. Moosa`s instructions were go and stay tightly together. He didn`t have to tell me twice. I hopped onto my bike seat, elbows bent, legs pushing me forward as fast as I could go. The bull was running for us and he was running fast. For me there was no looking back only forward. I was being charged by an elephant and I knew that those stubby legs could run faster than I could pedal. He was but a 1right behind us when ahead I could see a dry river bed with soft sand. Shit! I had been falling into sand all morning, how was I going to make it accross without fish tailing and most likely falling. My mind screamed with fear. Mousa had previously said that when faced with a challenge one needs to lock their mind. So I locked my mind but my mind wasn`t locked enough because the minute my wheels hit the sand I fell on my left side. My right leg was stuck in my clip and in that moment the thought of the elephant trampling over me, making mince meat of my body was there in plain view of my imagination. Finally my clip came off and I noticed that both Jay and Geoff were standing holding their bikes and looking back to where the elephant had once been.
Moosa stood in a clearing gun in hand and 20 meters from his bike. Eventually he came to where we stood and indicated that we should stand under a nearby tree. We did as we were told with front wheels facing the opposite way from where the elephant had been coming. As we stood under the shade of the tree, Moosa stood his ground with gun in hand waiting to see if it was safe to retreive his bike. There was a chance that the bull hadn`t completely gone away. waiting Jay and Geof filled me in on the events of what happened while I was splayed in the sand trying to unclip my shoes.
Apparently when that monster came charging after us for 100 yards Moosa had decided that he was approaching to fast for comfort. Making the executive decision that things were getting out of hand he did what a good guide does and saved us. With no hesitation he flew off his bike and landed into a seamless run leaving his bike behind. A few meters away he turned simultaneously swinging his 403 rifle from his back and faced the bull. The elephant skidded to a dead stop at Moosa`s bike and Moosa stood a few meters away gun sitting on his shoulder witht the butt of the gun aimed between the elephant`s eyes. Fortunately no further action was required as the elephant did not go any further then the spinning wheels of Moosa`s bike. We stayed there for about 15 minutes making sure that the elephant had lost interest in us.
Later we stood by Moosa`s bike in the wide open and noticed the skid marks of the elephant`s legs and tusks as he had braced himself to a stop.
I was jostled, my heart beat in my chest at high speed, my legs and arms shook with adrenalin. I felt alive like never before. Since our dramatic incident we have been retelling the story and analysing the details. Moosa our guide says that out of all his elephant facings that topped them all. Jay`s retelling of the story is that he`d broken from the group and he tought the elephant was only going for him. Geoff says that he will never forget the look of that bull as he chased us and trumpeted head on towards us.
Later a few yards away we found the carcass of an anteloppe. It`s bare ribs sticking to the sky, eyes glazed over with flies buzzing around. Two lionesses layed near by as fat and happy as our lion friend. The vultures perched in the trees made sense as they were waiting for the lions to move camp and take their share of the kill.
The next evening we got to see leopards.
This morning when we left for our bike ride I felt nervous. I felt the vulnerability of the wild and in no way did I want to meet up with another elephant and I made sure to let our guide know that yesterday`s experience was enough for me in my lifetime. Thankfully our ride was uneventuful. We saw more giraffes, anteloppe, wildbeast, wart hogs, birds and more. I must admit that it`s pretty awesome to see wildlife while on bikes. Biking along as the anteloppes run and jump alongside us. We did hear the rumbling of elephants thorugh a thicket of trees but steered away from them. I became more and more comfortable riding my bike thorugh sand, steep hils and river beds.
I am looking forward to spring back in Canada. I have had a trip of a lifetime. I must admit that on my way here I felt a little trepidation. It was my first time in Africa and I heard many stories of the rawnes. My travels of the passed 3 weeks showed me that Botswana is a beautiful peaceful country with beautiful people. A few times I mentioned to some locals that I found them very nice, kind and helpful. I got a beautiful answer to my statement; `Botswana people are nice and kind and our nature is to help one another`. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to visit this land of beautiful people with beautiful animals and awesome adventures.
Tomorrow Jay and Geoff will drive me from Mahalapye to Gabs where I will hop onto my flight to Johannesburg, London, Montreal and then back to Ottawa. I look forward to my return and giving Zoe and Owen a great big hug and spend those special moments cuddled in bed reading books and talking. I look forward to greeting daycare parents at the door and having conversations before we begin our days of work. I look forward to playing the guitar and singing songs with the children, cooking healthy food, teaching yoga and getting ready for Handmade Harvest on May 5ht. Basically I am looking forward to getting back to my life on 77 Anderson street because to be honest I really do love my life back home. I feel lucky on so many accounts and there is nothing that i need to change. I have enjoyed my travels and i look forward to my return. Life cannot get any better than this.